Five years ago, I was on a meditation retreat at Insight Meditation Society, a beautiful center founded by Joseph Goldstein, Jack Kornfield, and Sharon Salzberg.

As we gathered for the first night's introduction, the teacher began by saying:

"Everyone is welcome here. Truly, we mean that. If you are in the LGBTQ+ community you are safe here. If you are a person of color, you are safe here."

I felt like such a "good person" in an environment welcoming all beings.

IMS is located in the rural town of Barre, MA. Later in the retreat, one of the teachers commented about walking on the streets. She said, "Be careful, this area is very conservative."

I didn't think much about the comment, mainly agreeing, "Yea, a bunch of Trumpy hillbillies out there!"

A day later, the teacher is troubled and makes an announcement:

"It's come to my attention that I made a comment about walking in the streets of a conservative area. I learned that implicit in that comment is conservatives are not safe. I apologize to anyone here who is conservative. I am humbled and continually working on my blindspots."

It turns out there was a conservative on the retreat who felt attacked and isolated by that statement.

It was an aha moment for the teacher and one that's stuck with me.

Sometimes, the groups that claim to be for "love and tolerance for all beings" can be least tolerant toward people on the other side of the political spectrum.

"Everyone is welcome here," is what they said. What they meant is, "Everyone is welcome here, except Trump supporters." This is hypocrisy at best. And perpetuates the division we feel in the US, and beyond.

I'm guilty. I hated Trump. When passing a house with a Trump sign, I saw "Evil racist asshole lives here."

I don't know if I should admit this publicly, but if I'm honest with myself, when the first assassination attempt happened, a part of me was like, "Ah! We were so close to not having to deal with this again." That's a TERRIBLE thought!!!

It made me question what this is about. How could I think this way?

Every morning, I invoke the Prayer of St. Francis. One of my favorite parts is:

May I not so much seek to be understood as to understand.

When we try to understand, we find empathy.

I can't know what it's like to be in the LBGTQ+ community and feel like my rights are being taken away. But I can slow down and feel what I imagine it must be like to feel it. I did this yesterday and shed tears.

I also can't know what it's like for a de-transitioner who feels like they made irreversible changes to their body and are now facing massive backlash speaking their truth. (This is someone I know.)

Can we allow two opposing things to be true at the same time?

Can I feel pain for marginalized communities and also honor someone's experience based on what's true to them?

In 2020, I could not fathom knowing someone who voted for Trump. I yelled at my parents, trying to stop them from such an incorrigible thing.

This year, I felt differently. After examining my thoughts on the assassination attempt, I wanted to understand more. I made it a point to get out of my echo chamber and listen to the other side and the less polarizing topics people voted on.

Not only did I have more understanding, I have friends, who are compassionate, high-integrity individuals who had their reasons to go red.

People ask how someone can vote for Trump.

It's because every human has a different and equally valid experience of reality.

Most of us want the same things, and I believe we are closer than our information silos make it seem.

When I facilitate retreats, we have guests on opposite ends of the political spectrum. We make it a point to leave polarizing topics out of retreat space. It's always beautiful to watch people connect deeply with each other who—if they knew their politics–could not be in each other's vicinity.

We all can't go on a retreat together—but we can seek to understand eachother.

I get this is coming from a straight white guy with implicit blindspots.

I get people to feel threatened, fearful, in shock, outraged.

Please FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS!

I honor your experience.

Can we at least admit we all have blindspots?

Can we catch our spiritual ego that feels superior to another group?

I stand for bridging the gap rather than widening differences.

I don't ask you to agree, but before convincing me how I should feel or think, I ask for your understanding, too.

And I invite you to offer that understanding to others. We need it.

We need people who fight for both sides, and we need people building a bridge. It's all part of the dance.

And what a spiritual practice it is!

I wish you nothing but love no matter who you voted or didn't vote for.