Stop Improving Yourself
Here's a motivational message for ya: Stop Improving Yourself!
Seriously.
Self-improvement gets it wrong. Just look at the word—I'm Proving.
What are we proving?
It's probably some essence of:
"Look, I'm good enough. Don't you see!? I read these books, meditate daily, take cold showers, LOOK AT ME. I'M WORTHY!!"
Yet on the inside, we know our improvement project is a house of cards. To prove something means we don't feel secure the way it is. We might catch moments of confidence, but it's fragile. We are a moment away from crumbling when someone thinks it's not enough.
Im-proving doesn't deal with the core issue—we're not okay with how things are. So we either take massive action to prove our worth or protect ourselves by avoiding action, fearing the dreaded, "What will they think?"
Richard Rohr says, "As long as you have something to prove or protect, you fall into negative or judgmental thinking."
So the path is not, I am proving. It is simply—I AM.
The deeper work is not self-improvement but self-emptying.
To empty yourself, find the part of you that feels insecure. Instead of trying to fix it from without; getting the certification, making more money, losing the weight—let yourself feel what's stuck within. Then breathe, offer self-compassion, and do the work of letting go.
The irony is that emptying will transform your life more than beating yourself up to get to the gym. You won't need motivation because you'll have inspiration. Your energy center will open, and your action will align with what's most true.
Ask yourself, "When there is nothing to prove or protect, who am I?"
When you empty until there is nothing, you find that you are everything.
When there's nothing to prove, the judgments will come, but you'll see their falsehoods and let them go.
See what opens up for you this week as you stop improving, and start emptying.
If you need support around this, check out my meditation: Stop Caring About What Others Think
Here are some affirmations from it:
I don't have to prove myself to anyone
My presence in this world is enough.
I love myself for who I am
My light shines brighter than I can see
I am so Loved
If this resonated, feel free to drop me an email. Share with me what you're working on. I love hearing from you. :)