You can't get it wrong
We spend so much time trying to get it right.
It's as if every day, person, and situation comes with a subtle pressure to wear the right clothes, say the right things, and be the right person.
This pressure makes us afraid that who we are without getting it right isn't good enough.
We fear getting it wrong and being embarrassed, ashamed, or cast out—of having society reflect that yes, we're not good enough! Here's proof that we will never amount to anything, are too old, an idiot, or un-likable.
But this shaming exists only in our heads. We are afraid of our own inner critic. The one that makes us wrong if we don't meet expectations.
What if we let go of needing to get it right?
What if we stopped believing we could get it wrong?
It's hard. I even find myself doing it as I write. I'm trying to make sure I say what I want to say and make this as perfect as it can be.
The Trap of Right-ness
If you're like me, you lived this rightness-at-all-costs for as long as you can remember. What's insidious about trying to be right is that we inevitably believe we are right.
If we are right, then someone is wrong. I feel I know what’s best for my life then others who make different choices must be misled. Surely my path is more noble!
I spent much of my life thinking I was better or worse than others. I constantly compared myself, feeling inferior or superior. This is dualistic thinking and not capital T Truth.
Rumi writes:
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about."
Through coaching, I'm working on uncovering my unhealthy comparisons and letting go of the part of me that needs others' approval.
Maybe this can also benefit you?
This phrase helped me—You can't get it wrong.
Or better yet, It's alright—It's ALL right. And it's all right now. This moment is perfect. Your negative thoughts are perfect—your shame is welcomed—your deepest darkest secrets are beautiful. None of it is wrong because it's all right.
"It's all right" and "you can't get it wrong" have been mantras for me over the past few weeks.
Try them on when you start putting pressure on yourself.
SONG: Grandmothersphere by East Forest, Beautiful song in-line with todays theme. (It's also a great savasana song.)
With Love,
Lou