Overcoming Fears and Teaching Meditation with Confidence w / Leah Santa Cruz
Leah teaches at the world-famous Yoga Barn in Bali, Indonesia, and she's the Head of Meditation and Coach on the award-winning "Balance Meditation App," which was recognized as "Google's App of the Year 2021”. Her meditations have helped over 12 million people worldwide.
In this conversation, Leah shares her journey from the tech industry to becoming a meditation teacher, discussing how she overcame her fears of public speaking and developed confidence in her teaching. The episode offers insights into building skills as a meditation instructor and finding one's authentic voice.
Key Takeaways:
Personal Transformation Drives Teaching: Your unique healing experiences form the most authentic foundation for teaching meditation.
Confidence is Built, Not Born: Teaching skills develop through consistent practice and embracing vulnerability.
Teaching is About Presence, Not Perfection: Authentic presence matters more than delivering a flawless meditation script.
Persistence Overcomes Professional Obstacles: Believing in your path means consistently following up on opportunities and taking calculated risks.
Self-Love is the Core of Meaningful Instruction: Connecting with students happens through ongoing personal growth and genuine self-compassion.
GIFT FOR YOU
If you’re a meditation teacher or coach who wants to create unique meditations people listen to over and over again, enroll in my free course Meditation Script Mastery
Music Credit: Nova by River Roots - https://www.youtube.com/riverroots
Podcast Transcript
Lou: Hello there, friends. Welcome to another episode of the art and Business of Meditation podcast. Today's guest, coming all the way from Bali, Indonesia, is Leah Santa Cruz. Leah is a meditation teacher with a diverse background in neuroscience, psychology and business. Expanding over 17 years. After a decade in the tech industry, she experienced burnout and anxiety leading to her to discover the transformative power of meditation. Today, Leah teaches at the world famous Yoga Barn in Bali, Indonesia, and she's head of meditation and coach on the award winning Balance meditation app, which was recognized as Google's app of the year in 2021. Her meditations have helped over 12 million people worldwide. She leads annual meditation teacher trainings in Bali and retreats worldwide. Leah, welcome to the show.
Leah: I suppose it's a little strange for me to say that I go by Leia.
Lou: That's my bad, bad interviewer following. I definitely listened to you say your name to Leia, not Leah. Like, is that Princess Leia? Is that the right way to say it?
Leah: Yeah, it's like the Star Wars. Yeah.
Lou: Yes. So. So, yeah, so that's okay. That's all right. Everyone listening just own embarrassment in the beginning. But we can start there. That's great.
Leah: Well, actually, it's a funny story because I was born my parent, my mom named me Leah. And it wasn't until I was in my 20s, my early 20s, actually, I actually was one of those kinds of, one of those people that got married to somebody very, very young. And I was someone that I was with since I was 18 and we kind of just did it. And I was 22 and very quickly realized that wasn't what either of us really wanted. And so going out of that marriage, I decided I was going to just start a whole new, a whole new chapter. And so I started going by Leia.
Lou: Oh, I love that.
Leah: And it felt like something that I could own.
Lou: I don't know, there's, there's some, there's.
Leah: Call me Leah, though. Never got used to that.
Lou: All right, so I'm not so crazy off, but I love that. And I'm sure it's tough as I have a wife now that she's been shifting from Kelly to Kellyanne because that is her first name. And it's, it's always awkward to talk to family who's always said a certain thing and to like correct them and say, no, it's Kellyanne or. Yeah, you're, you're inspiring me because I, we just got married in the summer and I've always been Lou. My full name is Louis. But you know we had this whole wedding thing where I was Louis Francis because my middle name and my confirmation name is Francis. And I've been like, wanting to, like, use that more, but, you know, I have like, this brand of Lou Redmond, and all of a sudden can't go by, like, Louis Francis. People be like, who is this guy? But I love that. Just the idea of names and how it helps us to embody different, like, embody ourselves differently. So I even think that's, like, a good thing when, I don't know, this is bringing to mind I have a friend who he. In some ways, you create, like an alter ego that might help you step into realms in a new way. So let's say you're an up and coming teacher and you feel nervous teaching a class. It's like you can almost create, like, no, it's not Lou that's teaching a crack class. It's this name and helps you kind of embody or step into something.
Leah: So, yeah, I think the biggest example of that is Beyonce when she went by Sasha Fierce. She'd get that stage presence until eventually she embodied it herself and she didn't need it anymore. But, yeah, it wasn't for that reason. But perhaps there was some subconscious ideas about, like, okay, I'm stepping into a new realm of awareness about myself and confidence and putting the past behind. So maybe. Maybe there's something to that.
Lou: Well, maybe let's start there. Like, how, you know, coming from someone who left corporate to then start teaching, like, just the actual act of teaching, like, did you find, like, it was naturally to hold space for people or to lead classes, or was there that.
Leah: Not at all. You know, funny enough, because I was working in. I was working at Microsoft for a number of years, and I was given this. We had this big roast in our office, this big advertising team, and so they like to just pull pranks on one another. And so they did this kind of mini roast thing, and they gave me an award in front of the whole team and roasted me for being Miss Invisible because I was always afraid to, like, raise my hand and speak up in a meeting or chime in because I had this big fear of public speaking in front of a large group of people. If there was more than three people in the room with their eyeballs looking at me. I had heart palpitations and my voice was shaky, and I just. I was really insecure about speaking up in front of a group of people. So it was so against my nature to enter into teaching meditation for people. In fact, it took me Quite a while of knowing that this was my calling and getting my feet wet. Just guiding meditations for people out of my house where it was like this safe place for me to fail or to be around just friends or their friends. And so I did that for at least a year. I taught every week out of my house and I started to gather quite a community of people that were coming over. I was living in LA at the time and good place for it. Yeah. Until eventually I got that nudge from, you know, friends and the universe might say to, to take it to the next step because I was sitting in my comfort zone too much. And I kept getting feedback from people saying, like, you're ready. Stop asking for feedback. You know you're ready. Just like that's the sign you need. So I had to go with that. And I started teaching at the den when that first opened in Hollywood, the meditation studio. And the first couple weeks it was actually quite brilliant because, you know, there was only unplugged meditation studio, which was in Santa Monica. And then all of a sudden the den opened up. This was, you know, a number of years ago and now there's like a lot more meditation studios popped up everywhere. But at the time it was sort of a new thing. And so to get people interested, there was two weeks free classes, free two weeks membership. And so tons of people came in through the doors those first couple weeks. And I remember when I showed up to teach one of my classes in the first week and I got there and they said, there's 40 people sitting in the room. Oh my God. I had not had that many people in my house. So instantly I went, okay, okay, don't have a panic attack.
Lou: Yes.
Leah: That was not the energy I wanted to bring to guide other people in being more peaceful.
Lou: It's pretty ironic.
Leah: I actually started the class by having everyone do five second inhales, five second exhales, like an even breathing practice for five whole minutes. And that was a really bizarre way for me to open a class. I just said, hi, everyone, we're going to start with a breathing practice. Going to inhale for five and exhale for five. And I just did that. Literally, I just started them in a practice right away and everyone was kind of like, whoa. We just jumped right in. There was like no introduction. But I wasn't doing it for them, I was doing it for me because I was so nervous that by the time five minutes was up, everyone's eyes were closed. They were kind of in this chill spot. And then I felt comfortable to Actually say, okay, my name is Leah. We're going to do this practice here together now. Da, da, da. So anyhow, that was a little.
Lou: Yeah, that's a great. It's a great. There's a great lesson there. Exactly. It's like, if you're really feeling that nervousness, it's like, how do you help yourself ground, especially when you're in front of a group of people? And the great thing about meditation versus other public speaking is that we get to tell people or invite people to close their eyes and we can take space. You don't have to feel like we always have to fill filled time. So I found sometimes just, hey, let's all just pause together. We can resettle versus oh my gosh, people's eyes are, are open and they're going to be looking at me the entire time. So there is like, it is a good way to like, practice holding space in that way.
Leah: And then I also, you know, working at those studios was really great. I. I started working at an unplug shortly after. And there was always this one man that kept coming back to my class. Wonderful man, longtime meditator. And he always sat in the same spot in the very back of the class, in the very center. And hands down, every time I would close my eyes for a little bit to just be in that, like, kind of unified space with everyone. And then I'd open my eyes to just check on the room. And sure enough, every time, he's staring right at me in the middle of the meditation. And it really threw me off. In the beginning, I was a bit jarred by that. I was like. And because it was a intensity to this, there was no breaking of the, of this tear. And. And then I realized he was in his meditation. He wasn't even really looking at me. He just happened to be someone that never meditated with his eyes closed. But he was going just as deep as everyone else. And over the years, I've found that I enjoy meditating with my eyes open quite a bit too, especially if I'm in a beautiful surrounding. Like, I live here in Bali, so my backyard is a beautiful surrounding. And I like to spend a lot of time with my eyes up and just like, just taking in the field of space. And then eventually, when I do feel ready to, I just close my eyes. But that could come minutes later. And so, yeah, that inspired me, seeing that man do that. And since I've learned that many people are that way, so I guess we have to get used to it. Someone looking at us potentially Even when.
Lou: We are teachers, this sounds so jarring. So let's get granular here with. Because this is meditation teachers listening. How do you. How did you structure your classes back then and how. How has that changed over the years? If. If any, maybe it's still very similar. And then I know I talk to people differently all the time. Some people, I personally like to close my eyes when I'm guiding because it helps me really get into it and connect. And there's almost like this emotionality that I feel can be transmitted if I'm really in it. I know. I think we know a mutual friend, David Gandelman. He. He teaches to keep. He keeps his eyes open when teaching meditation. And. And this is like the art. It's like there's. There's got to find your own style in it. So, yeah, curious. Anything. Just how your. How you structure classes, how it's changed, and just any kind of nitty gritty that might be helpful for people to just. Just hear how you do it.
Leah: Right. So the first couple years that I was teaching, I. I followed a formula and in fact, I used to really map out and plan my meditations beforehand down to like what all my talking points would be. I wrote. I was like that person in college too, that always made the study guides, but I had little note cards. Like, I had flashcards and I had like, you know, I would love to say no shame about it, but there was a little shame, to be honest. But I.
Lou: Did you look at them? Because I would always feel like I would. I would write them. I would write them, but they were just for like me and just having them near me.
Leah: Yes, I had them, there was a.
Lou: Crutch, but I never. It was too dark in the room for me to actually, at least the studio I taught at, like, it was always too dark where I couldn't really read it if I needed to. But the fact that I had them there helped me feel like, okay, they're there. But I never. I would find myself rarely ever being like, oh my gosh, where are we going?
Leah: Well, I did look at them often because if nerves were getting the best of me, I try not to look at them. If I was doing an introduction and people had their eyes open looking at me. But if I was in the middle of a meditation and there was some. There was sometimes like that first year teaching public classes that I would get a little nervous sometimes and I'd forget where I was going with it because that just happened to me sometimes when I get nervous, like, I'd get kind of stuck. And so I always had them to look back at and remember, okay, this is, this is where I was going to go with it. And eventually I didn't need to rely on those cards anymore. And now I, I don't use anything unless I'm trying something brand new for the first time. I might do a little bit of that preparatory work again, but for the most part now I go up and teach a class and I just don't even know half the time what's going to come out of my mouth until it is coming out. But in the beginning, it was very deliberate for years. And I, I was very, I feel very fortunate that I had some mentors along the way in the beginning that, that taught me that as a new teacher, our tendency either is to talk really fast or to say too much. And so I would, I would usually keep my introductions about five minutes, seven minutes max, but typically five minutes or so, enough time to introduce myself, give them information about what we're going to do. So there was this inform and inspire formula, inform them of what they're going to do. Because maybe half the people are that kind of person where they just, they need the information about what we're about to do so that they can feel relaxed and going into it, right? Because if there's a. If there's an uncertainty about what it's going to happen, they might be a little on edge or a little uncomfortable in their nervous system. And so just giving them the information makes them feel a little bit like, I'm prepared and know what's going to happen and I know what's going to happen if you know. So that inform would also include, like, what to do when your thoughts show up. Just a really brief, brief statement about that. It took me years to learn how to add brevity in that statement. But. And what to do, you know, if, like to just let them know, you know, if this is a particularly sleepy class and you're snoring, I'm going to come up and give you a little tap on your shoulder or your foot or something like that, you know, just to give people preparation for what to attach, expect and what could happen. And then the inspiration part of like, why this practice is meaningful to me, how it's perhaps helped me in my life and not going too deep into my stories, but giving just enough to be on the same level playing field. And I think that's also important as a teacher to not. I don't like to come into my classes with this. I'm the guru and I'm fixed of all my defects of character and thank God I've overcome everything and I'm this enlightened being now and I just cannot stand that and it's just not true. So I, I always like to just come from a really humble place to say like, this has been helping me in my, my own anxiety over the years or this has helped me through a really rough spot when there was a lot of uncertainty. And you know, just keeping it something simple like that and vulnerable I think really gives people the ability to see themselves and to be inspired by really giving it their all in this practice and like, and seeing how important it might be for them. So I think that that's a lot of people don't care about the information and they just care about being inspired. So I would try to keep my introductions to that inform and inspire. And, and then I, you know, I follow this formula still in my classes now. It's just sort of how I teach and I don't even think about it as a formula, but I spend a good amount of time transitioning people in that warmup of getting people relaxed in their nervous system, comfortable, releasing tension, seeing all the, you know, thoughts and sensations and sounds that are going to arise, and being at a certain level of welcoming with all those things. Like there's, that's a strong aspect of my classes, is really getting people there. Like I have an hour long class that I teach now and I'd say we start to get really into the heart and meat of the meditation at about 25 minutes into the class because I spent the whole first part, you know, seven minutes of introduction and then about 10 to 15 minutes maybe of, of just warming them up and getting them really in the zone before we dive into like the heart of the visualization, for example. Of course, that just depends on the style of class you're teaching. But I think that in the length of the class and the length of the meditation, right. Not everybody's teaching a one hour meditation. Many of the classes or meditations are going to be 15 minutes or they're going to be 20 or 30 max. And so you'll have to adjust accordingly. But I think giving a couple minutes is always really helpful. Like if it is a 15 minute meditation, I like to spend like two to three minutes just getting them in, in that welcoming space and relaxed space before I give them the core technique. And then I have to really be mindful about how much I'm speaking. I would literally tell myself in the beginning, shut up to myself and just make myself. I would literally look at the clock. I had a clock app on my phone and I would watch the seconds go by because I would make myself wait for 60 seconds or 90 seconds before I'd say something again. And if I just followed my own urges, I would have Talked after like 10 seconds. Because I was uncomfortable with the silence when I was holding space originally in the beginning. Now I'm very comfortable with the silence. But still, sometimes when I can see that there's some people that might be restless or fidgety, the tendency is to want to give them something vocally to help soothe them. So I have to catch myself when I get into that sort of caretaking energy and remember that people crave the silence. So I think the art of what comes over many years and repetitions of teaching is really learning how to say things with less words.
Lou: Just. There's just such an emphasis on that. It's so hard. And I find myself. Yeah. Continually using way too many words. It's like I need to hear my sound of my voice or something. And yeah, that's something that I've been thinking about more. I do a lot. Unfortunately, I do a lot less in person teaching nowadays. So it's a lot of recording, but trying to create. Even easier when it's recording to create space. But I find for people out there, if you're. If you don't have a clock, typically you would have a clock at like in the front of a class to see seconds. But, um, if you take, I think like three or four slow breaths or like 30 seconds. And so if you can just give yourself permission to take eight in some ways and trust that that's. That's going to give your spaciousness. But it's so hard to. Yeah. To be. And to be in that silence. So I'm glad that, you know, I want to emphasize. Emphasize that part.
Leah: Yeah. And of course, like, you know, there's so many types of meditation out there. I certainly am not giving a lot of space when I'm guiding a yoga nidra class or when I'm guiding a guided visualization. I might. Depending on the visualization, like, sometimes I'll be guiding quite a bit until a certain point when I let their mind's eye take over. But no, no, if I was teaching a mantra class or a mindfulness practice or even like a loving kindness practice or any number of different styles, I would want to give a lot more space. And so I think it really depends on the type of class you're Teaching too. Like, what is the technique? What is the. What is the goal? So it's just so. It's so fun because teaching meditation, there's such an art to it that is this unlimited things to learn and grow in. As a teacher. I think I was thinking about that today when I was teaching a class, how when I first started teaching, just the way that I would say something was very different than how I do now. And I think that became with. With the comfort of speaking in front of people. When that grew, when my confidence grew, when I got over the. The fear of speaking, you know, and I just really settled into this comfort within myself. I noticed that my volume and the power of me speaking is stronger. I mean, I use a mic because I teach in such big rooms now, but I don't have to use one. I certainly can tap into the power here and project my voice without feeling like I'm shouting. And I was always so afraid of coming across just shouting in the beginning when I started teaching. And it never really came across that way to anyone, even though to me it seemed that way. And the feedback would always be, you know, speak a little louder. It's hard to hear you in the back. In the beginning when I would teach, because when I would lead the meditation, I would go totally into it and I wouldn't realize how my volume would get lower and lower. And that's part of the reason why now I open my eyes every once in a while to remember to come back and just check on the room and just check on people. And. And, you know, I. I tend to be a little bit more sensitive to energy of. I think a lot of people that come to this calling of teaching meditation are sensitive to energy, but to just sense intuitively what the room might need. And sometimes speaking to a particular someone in the room, they might not realize it, but probably they feel it. And so I do that sometimes too. So I do a mixture of, you know, I don't do the full David Gandelman. That's going to be the new thing now, the David Gandelman. Just keep your eyes open the whole time. I coined that, David, if you're listening. But that's great. I open my eyes every. Periodically and check the room. And then I find it easier, like you, to go into my experience sometimes with my eyes closed. So I really like to be in the meditation with people while I'm guiding it. Because there's certain. There's a certain transmission that comes through when you are in that space, that meditative experience yourself that Just does not happen if you're not in it. It does not come across the same way. Your tone, every, everything, the presence, it shifts and it really invites people to meet you there, you know, so that's one of the most important things I try to get across to my teacher trainees and our teacher training is that really feel it. I don't want you just speaking from a script. Sure. Look at your notes. If you want to read something, connect with it, read it, feel it, then speak it. Don't just read like, don't just spout out a bunch of words at people. You know, feel what you're saying and make it definitive statements, not questions. You know, have people raise their voice. Then like, like a question.
Lou: Close your eyes and.
Leah: Yeah, exactly.
Lou: Your body feel.
Leah: If you like, it's, you know, you can bring your attention here. No, no, Bring your attention to your heart.
Lou: What is your thought?
Leah: This is such a difference there.
Lou: This is something that I've been doing a lot more. I'm curious your thoughts on it and. Because in some ways it's kind of. Would be a more trauma informed way to use the invite versus like do this. And I know in the beginning I was, you know, I'd like you to. I want you to. You know, I've kind of tried to bring in a little bit more invite, but sometimes there's just something to the energy of like, do this or I want you to do this. Even if it seems like controlling. I'm curious, as someone who's teaching teachers, how do you. Is this something that you. You talk about or how do you think of like the invite, I invite you to do this versus just do this.
Leah: I suppose there's a. This is a personal. This comes down to what your personal experience is with it. And I suppose there are times when it feels appropriate for me when I hear someone inviting me into it versus just. I don't even know if I need to necessarily invite somebody with the language as much as with my tone. And so I think there's so much that can be said just in the tonality of how we say something that is the difference between being a demand or like a. In, I don't know, some sort of hard instructions versus a gentleness to guide your attention to your heart, you know, guide your attention to your heart. That's like. There's two different ways that you can say that and they're. And it's gonna. I don't. I. I don't know. I think that times when I've heard too much of the invitation, as you put it, like, it can come across as almost feeling a little unsafe because there's too much. It's. Right. That sounds like a contradiction, right? Because there's. To me, there's like, is this too many options? And I don't feel as held in this. This very, like, held by the teacher. Like, the teacher knows where to guide me, and they're bringing me. They're holding my hand and holding me there. You know, they're holding my hand there, versus they're kind of just saying, well, go here if you want or go there if you want. And. And then it's up to me. And, you know, if I'm a. If I'm a particularly restless person or if I'm struggling at all with wondering, like, am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? What's the right way to go? Which is. A lot of people come in with that mindset. I think there might be a little bit of insecurity about not just feeling this strength in the. I've got your hand. Follow me. Let's go this way.
Lou: There's like an anal. I'm sorry, continue.
Leah: Yeah, I think it also. In the beginning. It might be something in the. In the beginning that is said that says, you know, at any time, you can always come back to, like, this inner resource or this resting place of comfort. Anytime you need, you know, to give people that sort of out. If something doesn't resonate for them or if they're, you know, not particularly connected to where you're going or if they.
Lou: Need to find, like, hey, is this. Yeah. If this is feeling kind of unsafe, if you're not into kind of where we're leading, know that you always have the power to, like, hey, I'm just gonna actually just be with my breath or whatnot. Not that you're gonna take them into, like, the most intense things. Maybe sometimes you might go into some more intense things. But the. In you hearing you talk about it, the image of, like, if you were to invite people over for dinner, and basically, I mean, you didn't invite. You did invite these people. In some ways, they said yes to showing up to your class. It's not like you would always. If someone was at your house for dinner, you wouldn't continue to say, hey, I invite you to eat this food. Like, if you kept saying that language, I think people. I think that would be a little weird. Like, I'm already here. Yeah. Tell me, you know, why you keep using this. I've said yes to this invitation and I'm wondering if. Because I would always say I want. And I'm maybe even thinking of. Maybe that's even not necessary to say, like, I want you to go ahead and envision this, or I want you to. I'd love. Like you to. I love that we're getting so in the weeds here.
Leah: I never bring up myself in the meditations I guide because I always think of it like I want to be sort of this invisible presence. Like, almost as though I'm here. I'm solidly here guiding them, but it's almost as though I'm also not existing because I want them to be so in their experience that they're not even thinking about me as Leia, the teacher, an individual. They're so in their experience, it's almost like my voice has become their voice, so to speak, if that makes any sense. So that's kind of how I always go into. So I. I usually don't ever come back to reminding them that there's another person here guiding them or making them unconscious and aware of me. Like, so that's. That's just personal style, though.
Lou: Totally.
Leah: But I. So I keep it on the. The You. Like, when I'm doing a meditation, like, notice. Notice where you feel these sensations.
Lou: So you wouldn't like, add in, you.
Leah: Know, experiencing your body in the world as made up of vibrating particles or whatever I'm going into. It's.
Lou: It's.
Leah: I typically don't ever refer to, like, I'd like you to do this. Whereas it's just more of a. Now notice this, or see if you can extend your awareness to this part of your body. Yeah. So there's a little bit of a suggestion of, like, see if it's possible for you to notice this. I don't know. That's just my style, though. But it doesn't mean that it's right.
Lou: Or wrong, of course. No, I love it.
Leah: I think about it. My own brain.
Lou: So, like, continue us in the journey. So you've. You're in this, let's say this hour class. Like, what's the last piece? What are you leaving space afterwards? Are you asking questions? Are people having conversations? Just to. Yeah. Wrap up the full. The full class.
Leah: Yeah. You know, I give people a few minutes of transition time out of the meditation, and then I always give a pause, whatever the closing is that I do. It just depends. You know, I might leave them a nice quote to reflect upon or a moment of gratitude and appreciation about something or putting a hand somewhere in their body that needs it. You know, just this moment of closure. And then I let them have a pause. I welcome them back. I say, when you're ready to open your eyes, welcome back. And then I thank them for showing up for themselves. And I remind them, my name is Leia. If you have any questions or you want to share an experience, I'll be hanging out for a few minutes. You can come find me over in the lobby or wherever. I have some resources here for you if you want to take those home, et cetera. And then it would be a time when I'd give like a. A little share if I have an offering or something. But I keep it extremely short, Like, I have a retreat coming up in Japan or a teacher training coming up in May. And here's a flyer up here if you want more information or come find me if you have questions. I keep it so minimal, and I do not do lectures afterwards because I want to respect the fact that people might be in a shifted state of consciousness at that point, and it's not the time for me to be giving them more lectures. Even if I forgot to say something really important in the beginning of the introduction, I just have to bite it. I have to just swallow it and just say, this is not about me anymore. This is about giving them their space. And I never come up to people and say, how was it for you? Or how are you feeling? Because, you know, some people might be so in an experience, they just need to process what they just experienced. And they might just be. They might just, like, walk out of the door like a zombie or, you know, even forget their shoes or whatever in state of mind or body they're in. I have to respect that. And so in the beginning, I kind of take it personally because, like, I wouldn't get very much feedback and I wouldn't know how people were doing. But I actually realized later on, and that was a pretty good sign, you know, that certainly there'll be people that come up and say, thank you, but I don't want to pry into the experience because they might not still be aware of, like, what just happened for them. And so I give them the opportunity to share with me if they'd like. If you have questions or want to share an experience, I'll be over here, come find me. And the people that want to find me will find me. And the people that are in their experience will. And I don't take it personally. And it took me some time to learn to not take that personally or not take it personally. If somebody gets up and Walks out of the room in the middle of a meditation. I have no idea why they may be doing that. Maybe they have irritable bowel syndrome. You just never know what's going on for that person. And so I had to learn to not take those things personally too. Which can hit at your self esteem a little bit when you're a new teacher and you're nervous about making a good experience for people.
Lou: But yeah, totally. Getting that validation is like, yes, but someone just say, this was good so I could be okay. But that's our own stuff.
Leah: And then accepting the constructive feedback that you get sometimes, because I've certainly got many of that over the years. And that's one that stands out when I get bristly or when, when I feel defensive or you know, and just remembering that not everybody's judgments are necessarily based in the truth. Sometimes it's a bias or it's their own projections, and sometimes it is something I have to look at and go, is there a room for opportunity for growth here for me? And sometimes there is, and I have to just really check that and go, okay, I can reframe this as an opportunity for growth instead of, you know, a rejection or a criticism and not take it so much to heart.
Lou: So there's part of me that wants to like, ask about that. Like I was like, what, what are the questions? Maybe that's helpful to, for people to hear or the concert, the feedback. Yeah, maybe let's just go with that. What, like, what's one of those? Because just to see someone like you, who's been doing this for a long time get these sort of things, can they maybe give permission for people? Oh, when I get that sort of criticism, I can just be like, okay, yeah, I can either take it or I can. Is there truth in here? Is it just this person? Do you have, is there an example that sticks out?
Leah: Yeah, you know, some, like I said earlier, someone saying they couldn't hear me very well recently I led a retreat. And this is after 10 years of teaching, mind you. And I led a retreat and there was two women on my retreat who were hard of hearing and neither of them had hearing aids. But both of them admitted to me that they probably should have hearing aids because their hearing is that before. But they're kind of in this state of like, I don't need one. I'm going to try to go around it. And so I found I was in a really difficult position to try to enunciate my words in a way that I never had even thought about before doing it for someone with hearing impaired. And so we had to find, like, I had to accept the feedback that she was telling me that I was mumbling and she couldn't understand me. And then I'm sitting here thinking, was I really mumbling? I can't believe that I was mumbling. Like, I. I can't believe that that would be the case. But in her perspective, I was, because that's what it sounded like to her. So I remember it was her experience that she's sharing with me, not what necessarily was the truth for everyone else. And so, but I realized, okay, there's an opportunity for me here to, Instead of, you know, being defensive or saying, and, well, they, you know, they just going to have to deal with it because this is how I teach. I was like, okay, let's find a situation that will work. Can you come sit up next to me? Maybe we can try with Mike. Maybe we can try without a mic. Maybe you can try with me projecting. Maybe we can try all these different scenarios. After, like, a few classes, we finally figured out what was going to work. And then we all felt really great. And they felt seen and heard. Especially I felt heard. And that was. That was beautiful. There was another time, for example, when I was teaching a yoga nidra class and a woman came in, came up to me pretty irritated at the end of class and said to me that I was not teaching it exactly like Swami Sadananda Swaraswati teaches it. And this, of course, is the person who coined the term Yoga nidra, who came up with this practice. And I know the whole story, but she was, like, pretty evangelical about you sticking it to the very. Like, you need to go word for word what he says. And do not, do not go off of that. And any other thing is not really yoga nidra. I, of course, have a different belief. And so I had to kind of hear her words. And I, I remember saying something like, well, there's other artistic ways you can do yoga nidra. And she was like, no, that's not true. So I had to go, okay, this is not going to go very far because she's not going to convince me. I'm not going to convince her. All I can do in this moment is just say, well, thank you for your feedback. I will certainly consider it. I appreciate you telling me. And that's, that's just what I've learned to say in those instances where I know that it's just, it's just literally an opinion that they have that's A really strong opinion sometimes, and I may know otherwise or believe otherwise, and yet it's not worth my energy or the time to, to be in a battle with somebody about it. So I'd rather just say thank you for your feedback. I will certainly consider it.
Lou: And people who have strong opinions tend to be sometimes the loudest, unfortunately, in their, in their proclamation.
Leah: I've had other teachers come to my class and they have their own particular style and way of approaching something, and if I do it quite different from them I've seen in the past, some teachers get very irritated by that or feel like this is a chance for them to come up and, and school me after on how I could be doing this better for. Differently.
Lou: Oh, boy. That, that. That's a hard one.
Leah: Certainly has some of those folks. But then I've had a lot of other great teachers come in and absolutely love and encourage me and, you know, uplift me for what I'm doing. So I know that that's, you know, everybody has their days and some. Who knows what's going on in their life at that time. And so again, I have to just go, okay, just because they're a teacher doesn't necessarily mean their opinions have more weight and value than mine. But is there something that they're saying? Is there any thread of truth within what they're saying that I could consider? You know, like one time I was leading a mindfulness class, and in the very beginning, I just had people kind of just stretch a few times and just mindfully move their body in a circle for a minute and then slowly come to center. And he did not like that at all because he said there should be absolutely no movement and mindfulness classes. And I said, okay, well, we can agree to disagree here.
Lou: So have you taken MBSR class? Like, what are you talking about?
Leah: Right. So, yeah, I think it's just finding a dignified way to accept things. And also, you know, I've. I've never really had someone get to the point where they're really crossing my boundaries so much, but if that was to happen, I also know that, like, it's. It's important for, to not just be a doormat either for someone if they're, you know, if, if it's, it's coming across as very negative or very critical in a way that, you know, there's a, There's a time to say thank you. I'm going to have to put a pause to this conversation for now. I'm not in a place to accept it, but I really. Yeah, we'll consider and have a great night. Or, you know, I just haven't had that kind of situation arise, really. But that's probably how I'd approach it.
Lou: At the Yoga Barn. How did you. One you moved to Bali. Like, did you know you had a place to go teach? Like, how do you get that opportunity? And then I'm also curious, what's it like to teach? Because I can imagine. I don't know, you can correct me that, you know, people come to Bali and it's like, I gotta go to the yoga bar, and it's like a thing that I'm doing. And so you're probably teaching a lot of people that aren't there for, like, you know, they're. They're. They're coming in. They're in Bali for whatever, and they're leaving. So what's it like? Do you have a core group of people or do you find, like, you're always. It's always shifting and just, like, the style that you're. You're navigating?
Leah: Yeah. So I'll start with your first question. I did not have a job set up for me when I came to Bali. It was certainly on the hopes and dreams of creating one. And it was a big risk involved in that because I was stepping away from teaching at three meditation studios in Los Angeles, that I'd spent some time building up my classes and student base. And then my husband also. Well, he wasn't my husband at the time. He was my boyfriend at the time. He had just been named the number one yoga teacher in Los Angeles. So he had spent years building up his classes, too. And so for both of us to just kind of take a leap off the cliff and go to Bali, hoping that we'd get hired somewhere, you know, was a bit of a risky thing to do. But we both knew that we were ambitious and resourceful and that we had good teachers and that we had good practice and that we could make it happen. If anybody could make it happen, we could make it happen. So we. We kind of came to Bali with that intention. And he ended up getting a job with Yoga Barn first, because about eight years ago, when we moved here, there was a lot more interest in yoga than there was meditation. Still is, but there was already a meditation teacher there, and they didn't see the need for much more meditation, to be honest. And they said that to me. They're like, well, we'll keep you on the waitlist of teachers that are interested in teaching here, but we don't really have a strong interest in meditation yet. So if that changes, we'll let you know. And certainly did change. As you know, meditation has become so much more of a global thing now. So very quickly, within about a year and a half of me living here, then they were ready to hire me. But that was a year and a half of a lot of uncertainty. And I ended up picking up some jobs remotely doing marketing and things for companies. It wasn't really, it wasn't my dream, it was something to help get me by. So I didn't go through all my savings and just keep me afloat financially while I was like being persistent about wanting to work specifically at the yoga barn. And yeah, eventually they did hire me and that was a huge relief that I just learned to be persistent and they never gave me a no. They never said no. They said, maybe we'll see, we'll let you know. And so I kept knocking at the door. I kept knocking at the door. I showed up to as many classes as possible. I was always there, I was always showing my face. I was always going to teachers, different teachers classes. I was emailing like once a month. I was saying, hello, I'm still here, I'm still interested, like, can we meet up, can we chat about it? I'd love, I have some ideas. Or I would just come and bring them things and think about how I could benefit them or just show them that I'm here to stay, I'm part of this community, I'm not going anywhere and I'm really interested. And, and then I, and then I started recruiting my teachers to send them emails of recommendation, recommended me. So I have some really great teachers. Dr. Lauren Roche, Camille Maureen, Mark Whitwell, some people whose names that they recognized in this world of meditation and yoga. And so getting, getting personal letters from them recommending me and saying, hey, you should hire this woman was really helpful, I think, to get my foot in the door finally to kind of set apart from all the other thousands of people emailing them and trying to get jobs there because it is a world renowned yoga studio and meditation studio and there are plenty of people who come to Bali and they're like, oh, I'm just gonna stay here and work here. But yes, so it's not so easy to get your foot in the door. But with persistence, I think a lot of more things are possible than we realize. And, and that's how it's been for us when we go travel around the world. My husband and I have led workshops and trainings all around the world. And I can't even count. I don't even remember the number of countries now. But before we go travel somewhere, we will usually get recommendations from friends who, who know studios in those locations. We will reach out several months in advance, maybe six months in advance, and say, hey, we're coming to this town. We work at the studios. Here's our. Here's a list of all of our offerings and workshops that we could bring to you. We'd love to do a workshop there. And we just keep being persistent again until they say no. And so sometimes we've had to follow up like seven or eight times with a studio. And. And then eventually, you know, it happens, especially if it's a popular studio, like maybe in Byron Bay or somewhere in the world like London or a place where there's, you know, there's a competitive marketplace for yoga meditation. It's important to be really persistent and then have everything make it easy for them. Like, here's all of our. Our collateral, our images. We have workshop descriptions. We have, you know, testimonials. We have all the things to make it really, really easy for you to just put this together for us and promote it to your studio. And so that has been, I think, where some of the corporate background and business background has come in to help me as a teacher, because I already had a solid sense about being organized and knowing how to manage myself and projects and be persistent, follow up with people and just have that kind of professional etiquette and know to, like, my job is to make things easier for them, not make. Not like they owe me favors. I want to make that. I want to give them a favor here. And so come with that mindset.
Lou: That's really important to think that. Okay, so a lot of people just say, oh, yeah, I sent one email and they didn't respond. And then that's it. And then realizing that we need to, yeah, we need to continue to be top of mind. And that's also kind. Sometimes for them, they're busy, they have a lot going on, depending on who you're reaching out to. Right. And so it shows that you're actually interested. It's almost like, I know some people that won't even respond to anyone until they've emailed them twice because it shows, like, oh, actually, you are caring. You're thinking about this rather than putting it on me. So I think that's important for anyone.
Leah: And, like, who do you know that is a student there or that works there or that are friends with those owners? Like, this is sort of like networking, job searching 101. And we don't think about doing that in this industry as much. But if I was in the tech industry, which I was before, and I wanted to get a job at a tech company, I would be looking on LinkedIn and figuring out who worked there and what people were on these teams. And I'd be having conversations, I'd be figuring out the right person to talk to. And if I did know somebody that worked there, I'd be getting warm introductions. I'd be. And so, you know, I think about that when it comes to finding work in this industry is like, have, have a resume, have warm introductions, you know, figure out how you can connect with those people and, and be persistent, not annoying. There's a fine line, but I think we can be more persistent than we realize. And especially women, I think have, generally speaking, are less direct than a lot of men are. And just by maybe, perhaps society and how we were raised or the nature of being feminine is we're less likely to be as direct and continue to go for it. And so because we're more concerned about, like, I don't want to come across as too needy or too this or that, but there's a way to handle it where we just show, like, I'm very interested and I'm not giving up, I'm showing up and I'm here to support you. So let's find a win. Win.
Lou: Leah, some people might be listening to this and be like, wow, she's, you know, teaching at this world renowned studio in Bali, like this beautiful epicenter of yoga, meditation, wellness. Um, we didn't get a chance to talk about your app because we went all into the nitty gritty, which, or the app that you work with. But I'm just, I'm wondering, like, you know, to an outsider it looks like, okay, she's crushing it. She's, she's really doing this work in the world. And just in this moment, like, what are you, what are you, what are you challenged by? Like, where, where are the challenges showing up for you around, whether it's work or personal navigating.
Leah: So interesting. Yeah. Because now I've been working with the Balance app for six years and I have hundreds of meditations there. I'm really, really proud of the work that I've done with this company and the team. It's not my app, but I am a very big part of it and very invested in the organization. But, you know, and having worked at having been teaching meditation now for 10 or 11 years, I. I have been noticing more and more within me this shift. I think it might be that I just turned 40, I'm a mother now. I'm going through changes in my own life. You know, when I started this path of being a teacher, I would just turn. I was just about to turn 30 and I was in kind of a different space mentally, physically, energetically. And. And now there's a certain degree of like, comfort with what I'm doing. But there was a point where I was feeling a little, I want to say uninspired, but like there needed to be a shift in how I was teaching and what I'm teaching and what I'm guiding people and, and it needs to really be following my own personal journey. And my own personal journey for me is so much about self love right now and so much about connecting to my feminine essence, healing my feminine, healing my masculine and inviting movement as a part of that. That when I was still just continuing to teach the same things I was teaching over and over, maybe mindfulness or yoga nidra or a visualization class like it, I needed to start switching, like, what am I guiding people through that is really following the journey that I'm taking. And so I have started to weave those elements into what I teach now. And I've started to create new classes and new offerings and I've started to step into more of active styles of meditation where, you know, I might be blindfolding a bunch of people in a room and having them dance and move their bodies to really intense music while breathing and feeling into all their energies. And. And I've been bringing in all those elements of things that I'm learning that are personally helping me into the meditations. And, and I just find it both very fulfilling and it's kind of revived that passion, that fire that I first had those first few years when I was teaching that hadn't died necessarily, but I just wasn't feeling the flames of that passion so much because it became very normalized what I was doing. It became very, like, I became very used to it and very comfortable with it, but it was. I needed to. I needed to revive something in me. And so now that's what I'm doing. And, and so it's. This is where I think it's becoming, you know, this very art form of weaving in the elements that are. That are so powerful for me into what I'm teaching others and, and always continuing to grow. Like I'm becoming much more interested in learning dance and DJing and art and figuring out how can all these elements interplay with meditation and. And then in that, it's like, I think that's really authentically finding, like, me and being able to deliver something unique to people that is. That is just really, truly authentically me.
Lou: And people can feel that, too.
Leah: Yeah.
Lou: Yeah. In a way, like, if you're, like, feeling maybe bored with something and it's like, okay, you're not as connected to it as you once were, that it might not be coming through as potently as I'm really lit up by this. And so it's going to come through, which. Yeah.
Leah: And a lot of these things are not things that I can translate into a guided meditation on an app or a recording. So a lot of the stuff that I do is, like, it's very in person and experiential and. Yeah. So. But it's exciting for me, and I think it's. It's. It keeps coming back to, like, keeping my. Keep tuning into where my heart's desires are pulling me and calling me, even when it seems unorthodox and outside of the box. And I go, oh, a lot of people aren't going to like this. Or a lot of people are going to think this is really weird. There's going to be a lot of naysayers, a lot of critics out there who said this is not traditional or whatever. But I. I don't want to be traditional. And that's. Then I come to realize that's who I am. And that doesn't mean that somebody else can't be more traditional. There's certainly a place in people for that. But the people who. Who are not into it are not my people to guide. There's going to be people who absolutely love and find refreshing and, like, resonate with the whole body. Yes. To what I bring. If I'm being. Following my true authentic voice and. And, yeah. And calling. So this is where things are going for me now that I've found that, you know, I've built and established a career in this field. And I. If I stopped right now, I would feel very fulfilled with all the people that I've helped and how much it's, you know, how much it's helped the people that I care about in my life. So now I get to go, what does Leon's heart need for her and. And just, Just jump in and go there. Like, take that risk again. You know, there was the risk of going to Bali. Now there's the risk of, like, what if I just really dive out and do something really out of the box with the way that I teach and, and it might change my whole audience, but that's all right because that's kind of the, the shift where I'm at right now in my life. And so I don't know where I'm going with this exactly, but maybe inspiring someone to, to do the step outside of the box, if that's your thing.
Lou: I hope it is. I mean, you're speaking to the essence of this podcast in the art, right? Of like, hey, I see this as an art. Some people are not going to see it as an art. They might see it as a, you follow this lineage, you do it like this. And that's like you said, there's people like that. But it sounds like you resonate with the artistry and your expression of it being following your art. And art and creativity don't have rules. Right? We get to, we make it up in a unique way and take our learnings, take our teachings that we've come to, to it and trust that it's not going to be for everyone. And yay for that. So thanks for being an inspiration of doing that and all the work that you're up to, where can people follow along? Feel free to share meditation retreats, trainings you have coming up on here too, for people that maybe are like, I want to go deeper and, and be in this new artistry with you.
Leah: I will tell you that. And, and first, let me just answer the last question you had for me, which I never got to answer, but it is, do I have regulars that come to my classes? Yes, I do, but I have so many tourists that come through that every single class, there's at least half the class are new faces that I've never seen before and I may never see again. So I can't tell you how many, like, tens of thousands of people I've met. But because there's just a, you know, sometimes a thousand people a day come through the yoga bar. And it's, it's, it's quite something. But so I have to sometimes keep it to what's suitable also for beginners, but still gives enough meat for the people who are coming back again and again. And that's a tricky thing to do. And so, you know, I find, like, I create little really specialized classes and experiences there. And,
Leah: and I just have to be. I just have to know that I'm going to show up with the same level of heart and care and commitment to people, no matter if they're strangers or if they're people coming back again and again and make myself available to them if they want to reach out to me, you know, over zoom or over email later on. And sometimes I'll get an email from someone, they're like, I came to your class two years ago and it really made a difference in my life. And I just want you to know that. And I'm like, wow, that's great. I would have never known that, you know, if they didn't reach out and tell me, because I don't see them again. So they just. People just go off in the world and like, see ya. Good luck on your journey. So, anyhow, yes, speaking of reaching out to me, you can reach out to me through my website. Is my name Leah? L E A H?
Lou: Did I say Leah again? I might have.
Leah: No, no, no, it's fine. But it's.
Lou: It.
Leah: Americans pronounce it Leah, but it's L e a h santacruz.com and I'm also on Instagram. It's. You can type in my name or you can put my handle Asante L E S A N T. And I have all my information there in my link in my bio with free resources, meditations I recorded that I give away for free links to the Balance app and my upcoming teacher trainings and retreats.
Lou: Yeah, amazing. Well, Leia, thank you so much. I know it's late for you. I feel like we could. We. I got to like, a third of maybe what I wanted to talk about, but we just went deep on, like, the granularity of, like, the classes, which I think is great and super valuable for people. So thanks so much for wanting to explore.
Leah: I'm happy to come back again if you want to dive into other aspects with me too.
Lou: I think we should make that happen. All right, take care, friends. See you next time.