It Wants To Come Out
A key benefit of mindfulness comes in navigating the emotional disturbances of life. As we grow in self-awareness, an emotion that once caused us to react, lash out, or self-sabotage, now provides a portal into our work.
Easy to say, but when triggered, how do we make the shift?
A mantra that's helped me pause and work through the emotion is:
"It's coming up because it wants to come out."
Like a seed breaking through the earth so it can flower, the emotion is surfacing because it wants our attention. It's coming up now because the body knows the most fertile time. Whether the emotion flowers into something beautiful or dies to surface another day is up to us.
When an emotion comes up, we can:
Shut it down or suppress it (Any addiction helps)
Act it out (Blow up on someone, hurt ourselves in someway)
Work through it (Feel it, get curious)
As Gabor Mate describes in When The Body Says No, there's a difference between acting out an emotion and working through it. Lashing out is like stomping on the sprouted seed, while working through it is like giving the water and sunlight it needs to grow.
We must be aware when we're letting the emotion out in a way that causes harm. It might help the emotion discharge, but if it doesn't transform, it will come back.
Think about something you're facing, and repeat, "It's coming up because it wants to come out."
Without being overcome, how can you let it out?
How can you learn from it?
Maybe you have someone like a coach or therapist who can help—or perhaps you allow the expression to happen on your own. Whatever the case, try this mantra next time you're feeling a strong emotion. See if it helps you shift your state and transform the experience.
What's coming up for you and how are you working through it? Feel free to shoot me an email and let me know. Sometimes the act of sharing with someone in a safe container is all we need.