Embracing Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome is inevitable. In this episode, I share some counter-intuitive lessons on how to work with and embrace imposter syndrome as a sign that you are on the right path.
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Podcast Transcript
Hello. Welcome to another episode of the Art and Business of Meditation podcast. I am your host, Lou Redman. I am a meditation artist, creator, teacher, and I am sharing this podcast with the intention to help other meditation artists, creators, teachers make a meaningful impact and a sustainable income. So this is a place for you to learn more about your art, your craft, and the commerce of how to make it in the world. And I share this as someone who quit a corporate job in 2015 to go full time into figuring out what my purpose was, how to share it with the world. And I've learned some things and have found some success and I hope that some of it's useful for you as a guide on your journey. And today I talk about this widespread big, big topic that I've experienced a lot. And it's just a juicy topic to talk about. We are discussing the imposter or imposter syndrome. And to start, I want to share a story of the biggest experience of imposter syndrome that I have ever experienced. So to take you back into my journey. This is 2018. I was still not really finding any solid footing in sharing mindfulness and meditation. I was working with a life coach, business coach, speaking coach at the time, she was a gift. I'm going to do an episode sharing what I've learned from her in the coming weeks. However, she helped me or she encouraged me to reach out to schools and give schools a try because there was an opportunity and a lot of kids could use some mindfulness practices. And so I was a bit desperate and I was open to trying anything and it kind of made sense. Like, yeah, there's lots of schools, there's lots of opportunities. I've taken a course on doing speaking in school. So it wasn't brand new to me, this field. And when I quit my job, I actually initially had the inspiration where I wanted to help kids. I didn't really know what that looked like, so I was like, yeah, let's do this. And I started reaching out to schools, you know, emails. I didn't even know what I was offering. I kind of pitched like an after school program, 45 minute workshop. I had no idea. I was just throwing things out there, seeing what response I got. And I was sending emails, emails, day after day, follow ups, calls, follow ups, rejections, no one saying anything, mostly no one responding to anything, follow ups, rejections. And I was doing this for months and it was getting to the point where there was nothing, I was getting nothing. And then I finally got an email back from a school and they said hey, Lou, this sounds great, but I was curious if you had something that helped teachers learn how to teach yoga and mindfulness in the classroom. And at first, I was really disheartened. I was like, oh, my gosh, no, I don't have this. Oh, man. And so I was about to respond, telling them that I didn't have what they were asking for, but I thought about it for a second. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec. Maybe I do have what they are asking for. Or at least if this goes through, I will figure it out. And so I use this little story normally to depict how even when we're feeling down or like there's no hope, that all it takes is one opportunity to shift things. And today I'm going to actually use this story to talk about what actually transpired after this went through. Before I do, I want to emphasize a quote that I think is also from Franklin Roosevelt or Benjamin Franklin, some Franklin in history and revamped by Richard Branson. But it's when someone hands you an amazing opportunity, say yes, and go figure out how to do it. And so that's what I did. I said, yes, and then I went and figured out how to do it. Before I get into what transpired, let's just go into the negotiation first, because who knows how to price these things? And you might have an opportunity where you're like, well, what do I charge them? If this is your first time doing it, what do I charge? And we'll definitely have some episodes around how to price things and where to start in that realm. And I had no idea. So what I did is I decided that I was going to do a rate of $25 an hour per person in attendance. So that means if they had 20 teachers sign up for six hours of content, that would be $3,000. And I sent this quote and waited. And a few days went by and I didn't hear back. What do you think? I started thinking, oh, my gosh, I asked too much there. They hate me. Da, da, da. All these limiting thoughts around money and charging things came out, and I held out. I was going to say and reach out, which often is the case when we have that kind of thought, where we reach out and say, hey, you know, I'll do it for less. I didn't say that. I just. I waited. I said yes to this opportunity. I waited. I gave them the quote, and they confirmed that they're going to have 22 people, and they were looking for four hours of programming. And just like that, I was Confirmed for, I believe 2,100. $2,200 in a month of work, while a month of delivering the work over four weeks for just four hour sessions or four one hour sessions. So I was just ecstatic because at that time, to make $2,100 in a month doing this work was beyond anything that I had made before. And I was overjoyed. So excited. Oh my gosh, this is amazing. And by the way, I would never price something like how I priced ever again. So never price things. Well, I don't want to say never, but to make it easy for everyone involved, often don't price things based on how many people are coming. Simply just know your rate, know your package or whatever. And that's the thing. But that's for another conversation. I would never price things like this again. But I was happy I did, because to know that I was going to make that money was just so overjoying. And I spent that weekend basking in this success and excitement. Then Monday hit and I opened my computer to begin creating what they wanted. And I had about a month to create this before delivering the first presentation. Then everything shifted. That's when this wave feeling of overwhelm and under qualification hit me like a ton of bricks. Who the heck was I to give this training? I was going to train teachers on bringing yoga and mindfulness into the classroom. Who am I to do that? I've only been doing this for a couple of years. And what ensued was the strongest infliction of imposter syndrome that I have ever had. And for those that don't know what imposter syndrome is, it's the feeling that other people are going to think that we're a fraud or in some ways that we think we were a fraud. And case in point, I didn't have experience doing what I did. I didn't even do the thing that I said that I could do. And I can imagine some of you saying, well, isn't that out of integrity? Isn't that discounting the truth that you actually didn't have that program? And the way that I frame it is, I knew it was something, I could figure it out. I wasn't out of scope of what I was working on. It's not like they asked me to deliver a program that was going to teach the teachers dentistry, to use some random example. I had no business, no energy in that work. But this was something that I was so steeped in and so passionate about, about. And so that is where I felt like saying the yes and Then figuring out how to do it and what the issue is. When we feel imposter syndrome, often it causes so many to hesitate and to not act when it is actually the opposite that is going to overcome the imposter syndrome. It is actually taking the time to research, to create, to plan, to prepare that quells that feeling of imposter. The more time that we spend building the craft, the more confidence we start to develop. And I'm a big believer that we don't start with confidence. We start with courage. We have to have the courage to feel fear, to feel the imposter syndrome, and then step forward. And so that's what I did. I just. I blocked everything else out for the most part. I still had a yoga class or two that I was teaching, and I made sure that I spent each day developing this curriculum, and each day that I made headway on it, that imposter syndrome just relaxed a little bit. And so to rant more about imposter syndrome, since that's what this episode is about, if you're like me, you care a lot about what other people think, and so imposter syndrome might be even stronger or you might not have that much imposter syndrome. And then I just want to celebrate you, because I do know people that are doing this work that don't have that much imposter syndrome, and that's amazing. So regardless of what end of the spectrum you fall at, what I want the paradigm shift to be for you is to see imposter syndrome as a good sign that we actually want to be feeling imposter syndrome. Why? Because it means that we are stepping into an edge, that we are stepping into our true experience of leadership. What does a leader do? A leader goes where no one else has gone before. A leader goes first, and they paved the way. So as we lead our life in this work, of course we're going to feel like imposters, because we've never been there before. How could we know we have to step into the edge of our leadership in order to experience the growth. And that's why I'm a big believer that we should continually be coming up and finding new places where we feel like imposters, because that's the sign that we are on our edge and we are growing. Whenever you feel like an imposter, take a breath, slow down, and say, this is growing me. I have an opportunity to stretch. And that is a special opportunity that I really want you to start to embrace as much as you can, because another way to also reframe imposter syndrome is to think about creativity. Creativity is about making things up. It's about bringing something that wasn't there into the world. And so, of course, we're not going to know how it's going to be received. Of course, we've never had experience doing it because it's creative, it's new, and we have to learn through the experience. And so I really want to just keep encouraging you. If you're feeling imposter syndrome as you're stepping into this path, that's a good sign. You want to embrace that. And as I say in one of my courses, it's not that we're attaching to it. I need to feel imposter syndrome. And it's not that we push it away and say it has to not be there. I like to see it as a dance, that we actually dance with it and kind of move in to feeling it, dancing with the imposters and coming out feeling a sense of competence and confidence and courage and feeling the imposter syndrome again and kind of just dancing with it. And that's how we continue to grow and achieve the highest version. So I don't want you to get rid of the imposter. I don't want you to get rid of it because it is a good sign that we are on our edge, and it is a sign that we actually care. The fact that you feel imposter syndrome means that you care, means that you want to do a good job, and that caring is going to come through beyond anything. The fact that you care is going to imbue into actually really powerful and good work, because guess what? The real imposters don't care. They don't care. That's why they're imposters. They know that they're trying to hustle and they don't care. They're not feeling that because they are actual imposter. And so this is the irony is that if you feel imposter syndrome, it is showing that you're actually not an imposter. Now, I know there's nuances here to, like, well, you know, if you care about trying to figure out how to do something medically with someone, but you have no experience that. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that you're caring is all that matters. But you've probably taken some trainings, you've done your work, and there's. There's no amount of trainings that's going to replace experience. I just learned this recently from the book the 7 Habits of Highly effective people. But they call it Endless Student Syndrome. It's kind of like the opposite of imposter syndrome. Endless Student syndrome. The one who just constantly jumps from next training to next training to next course, the next program to this. Because you always got to learn, rather than actually now stepping in, taking what you learn and being into the, producing and sharing your gifts with the world. And I want to share a message from one of my courses where I talk about imposter syndrome, both from Amanda Palmer and Seth Godin and Steve Jobs. Let's start with Steve Jobs. The Steve Jobs quote goes, everything was made up by people who are no smarter than you. And it's us who gets to decide what rules we should follow and what we should lead by the wayside. Amanda Palmer said, the professionals know that they're making it up. The amateurs try and pretend that they're not. I love that. But just to embrace that, yeah, I am making it up. I'm making up this podcast, and I'm not trying to hide it. Amateurs try to feel like there's something, that there's an insecurity there. Seth Godin has a wonderful blog on the imposter, and I'm going to paraphrase a few lines here. And he says, we're all imposters. Everyone who is doing important work is working on something that might not work. And it's extremely likely that they're also not the very best qualified person on the planet to be doing that work. Time spent fretting about our status as imposters is time away from dancing with our fear, from leading and doing work that matters. So where is imposter syndrome showing up in your life? How can you embrace it? How can you step forward? And the funny thing is, there's so many invisible imposters in so many ways. We are all imposters to our own limitations because we have a certain belief about ourselves now that is in some ways not enough, in some ways, scarcity. And I think that that's actually us being imposters by not stepping into our fullness, by not doing the work to rid that not enough scarcity feeling we have in so many areas, because that's the imposter. Because our wholeness, our expression, our creativity is what is true, is what is good, and is what is beautiful. So keep dancing with your imposter. Keep stepping into your edge, Keep making it up, keep tapping into your creativity. So honored to share and support you in this work. Thanks for listening. I hope some of this is helpful. Let me know by leaving a comment leaving a review. If you like this podcast, get anything from this podcast. Please take two minutes. Write a review. It really does help get some juju going for other people to find this podcast. If you'd like, you can send a message to me. Ask a Question. Links are below. You literally ask me a voice question. I'd love to respond to you. I'd love to help you in any way that I can. And if you want some support around creating powerful guided meditations, I also have a free course that should be in the show notes as well. Thank you again for listening. Deeply honor your time, your devotion, your commitment. Let me know how I can support you sending so much love. Until next time. I'll see you then.