Teaching from Experience: Is Living It Essential?
Do you need to go through something in order to teach it? Do you need to transform yourself in order to help others transform? In this episode, I explore both sides of these questions, which will help you consider if you're the right teacher or coach for someone.
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Podcast Transcript
Hello. Hello, welcome. My name is Lou Redmond and you are listening to the Art and Business of Meditation podcast. I'm so happy that you are here. If this is your first time tuning in. I am Lou. I am a meditation creator, guide teacher. I do one on one coaching with the intention of deep unfoldment and the intention that we already have everything we need. And in this wellness and self improvement world, often we can be so shouted at the things that we don't have that we need to buy the next course, we need to buy the next book to fill this void. And I keep coming more and more as I go on my own growth journey to soften that continual seeking. Things aren't quite right and asking myself, how can I open to the beauty, to the presence, to the divine that's already here? And so that is just an introduction to the energy of how I approach my work, how I'm approaching my work in 2024, and how I want to continue growing and in that process, have conversations on this podcast, have explorations on this podcast around what is happening in the wellness space. How does one make their living in doing something that feels true to them, passing on the transformation that they received in a way that has integrity, a way that is coming from wholeness and not coming from hurt, not coming from trying to fill a void as so much productivity, at least I'll speak for myself, tends to fill a void. I need to go achieve something so I don't feel like I am worthless. I'm an enneagram3, so that's my big ego fixation for those that know the Enneagram. But there are many ways that we avoid and we cope and we get disconnected from ourselves. So I'm a bit of a rant to begin, not exactly the topic that I want to talk about, but hey, if it is your first time, welcome. And maybe that gives you a little idea into me and my energy and what I'm doing here, what I'm trying to do here. You would be the best judge of that. So today's episode I want to explore a question that I received from a listener of this podcast. And the question, do you need to go through something to help someone with that thing? And the example that she mentioned is that she's a meditation teacher and she was working with someone who was having issues with her relationship and family and was seeking some guidance or support around that. And this person that was leading her is single and doesn't have a family, so she felt unqualified to provide meditation to help with this person that came here for guidance. And so that's where that question was coming from. Like, is she qualified to give guidance and support? And the answer, I think, is a yes end or a yes asterisk caveat. And I'll start by using an analogy that does a doctor need to break their knee in order to become a knee surgeon? And the answer is obvious no. The doctor learns a lot about the knee and is able to operate and practices a bunch to go into a knee and operate and knows how to do that. They don't have to break their knee. And I don't think doctors necessarily are transparent about that or not of, you know, whether they've broken their knee. But that's on a physical, I guess, superficial level. Now, this begs the question, again, this podcast is an expiration, so I'm giving answers, but I'm also just wanting to, like, explore it with you as a conversation in my head out loud. Because then I think about a therapist, a therapist that might work with anxiety or depression, and if that therapist had gone through their own depression, that I do believe that there is an embodied way of being and empathizing with their patient that cannot be accessed by someone who hasn't gone through depression or anxiety. There is just a different layer of. Of being with someone in their pain when you yourself have gone through that pain. So 100%, there is a sense of profound gift that you can give to someone because you've gone through something and you also have your own experience. Not to say that your experience is going to be everyone else's experience, but you can come at it from more embodied sense. Now, that does not mean that you need to be going through every experience to help someone, because sometimes, especially when we're talking about just not just, but especially when we're talking about creating a guided meditation that sometimes sharing something from an outside perspective can actually be really helpful as well. As long as you're not trying to pretend to know something that you don't. You can just be super clear and say, hey, you know what? I haven't gone through a breakup like this, but I'm going to explore and connect with my heart and see how I can share with you. This is in the example of like sharing a guided meditation. But this could show up in many different ways as long as you are transparent about where you are coming from and you can work to empathize with someone and say, yeah, I haven't gone through this experience, but I can really feel your pain. I can really sense that I can Notice tears in your eyes and this really is meaningful. And I'm here with you. I don't think to be with someone. The biggest healing that takes place when we're just talking about, let's just use one on one for an example is this presence that you can offer someone a genuine listening and curiosity. And so this is now in the realm of coaching. By no means do I go through everything that my clients come with, but as a coach, that's not my job to have answers. I'm not saying this is how you should be. Like holding space for someone is, is, you know, learning how to be really curious, how to help them kind of come to their own understanding, to have new understanding and reflect back what you're hearing them say. So to answer this again, no, you don't have to go through something in order to offer guidance on it. And if you have gone through something that might be even more powerful. So I hope that's helpful. It's kind of intuitive, you kind of get a sense. But sometimes I know, at least for this specific person, she has feeling a lot of self doubt. She's an early teacher and so a lot of doubt, a lot of imposter syndrome comes up. So I thought I'd answer this question on this podcast for anyone else maybe who faces self doubt on exploring topics that they haven't gone through. Now, there's something about you can be really passionate about a topic and be really researched about a topic, but maybe you haven't had as much felt experience of it. Like again, a doctor has researched about the knee ad nauseam before they perform knee surgery. So you could get really curious and be an expert in a specific topic like you can be potentially, again, it depends on who you want to learn from, but you can learn a lot about relationships and be an expert in a relationship topic. Now, personal opinion that I don't like to take advice from people that don't have something that I aspire to or that looks wholesome to me. So if I'm taking relationship advice by a single 23 year old dude who hasn't been married or had a long term relationship yet, yeah, maybe they research all the books, but not my cup of tea, I wouldn't choose it. So don't let that get in the way though of you being a resource for other people. Again, as long as you're transparent that you can be a really powerful resource for people if it's things that you're interested in, but if it's things like people coming to you with certain seeking your advice. Just be really clear of like, hey, I don't have this experience. I'm not an expert in this, but let me help you in any way that feels true for me. Is that sound good, getting their permission? Is it okay if I created a meditation for you? Even though I'm not an expert or I don't have experience, Let me just kind of tune in to what feels true for me and get their permission. If you're clear and you get permission, absolutely. If it's more of a coaching realm, then perfect, because you're never going to be experiencing a lot of the things your clients come with. It's more about being really present, empathetic, attuning to them, attuning to their experience in the moment, asking questions, deepening, moving it forward, and doing whatever practices and methodologies that you've learned as a coach. And so I'll pause there on another mini episode around teaching and sharing and experience. I don't know if this is helpful or if this is just me ranting again. So if you have any comments, you want to leave a review and say, hey Lou, yeah, these mini episodes are helpful. I like hearing you talk. So great. If you want to leave a review and say, lou, this episode is not that great. Come back to the interviews or have a little bit more coherence. And when you talk, then great. Just if you do leave that review, still leave 5 stars. That would be appreciated. Just kidding. Do it. Do whatever is true for you. As always, that's what I'm about. So thanks for listening. I look forward to seeing you on another podcast. Always feel free to drop a note. There's a link below this description with a speaker pipe. You can send me an audio and I'll be happy to respond to you in real time. And thanks so much for your time, your attention, and I look forward to seeing you on another episode very soon. Lots of love.