The First Step to Real Transformation
“You can’t fix what is perfect, you can only see it and come to realize your own perfection.” - Unknown
If I were to say you are perfect, how would it land?
Maybe it stirs up resistance. Your rebuttal is, “nothing is perfect, and that’s ok.”
But what if you’re missing something essential? A truth that’s right under the surface, opening way to inner freedom.
What if perfection is all there is and ever was, and you are part of its dance?
All the messes, mistakes, shortcomings, heartbreaks, breakthroughs, accomplishments, failures, and triumphs—utterly, painfully—perfect.
“What is not perfect?” is a rhetorical question Paramanahsa Yogananda urged his followers to ask, with the answer being nothing is imperfect.
How do we glean this perfection?
Acceptance.
All transformation starts from acceptance.
The reason you're unhappy is because you're not accepting what is.
Once you accept your experience, you release resistance (blocked energy) and open pathways to change (new energy).
Accepting the moment is finding perfection. Why?
Perfection is a thing being what it is.
What else could something be besides what it is?
Yet, we want to play Old Testament God and judge what’s right and wrong. The moment we do, we separate from acceptance and return to resistance.
Perfection is a thing being what it is.
Divorce is perfect
Marriage is perfect
Death is perfect
Birth is perfect
Anger is perfect
Joy is perfect
Losing is perfect
Winning is perfect
It’s all just being what it is!
Joseph Campbell writes’ “When we talk about settling the world’s problems, we’re barking up the wrong tree. The world is perfect. It’s a mess. It has always been a mess. We’re not going to change it. Our job is to straighten out our own lives.”
Perfect doesn’t mean we like it. It doesn’t mean we don’t have preferences. It just means we stop thinking things have to go our way in order to be ok.
Acceptance doesn’t mean inaction or apathy. On the contrary, if your situation is hard, it’s harder without acceptance. Once we accept, we open up space to see things differently.
We work to change our state of being, which impacts the world around us.
The other day, it was a beautiful afternoon, and I hadn’t been outside yet. I poked my head around 4 pm and wished I could go for a walk, yet I had a call to get on. For a few minutes, I pouted, “I really wish I didn’t have this call, I just want to go for a walk.” (resistance)
Then I remembered acceptance—Immediate shift. I let go of what I-thought-it-should-be for what-it-is, and I happily joined my call.
This example is small, but how many small things like this happen to us during the day? The daily moments of resistance multiplied over time slowly disconnect us from the vitality of our being. After years of resistance, it’s no wonder we lack energy.
(I actually have a tougher time accepting the small things than the big ones.)
Accepting Others
Who are you trying to change? Where are you feeling resistance by not accepting where others are on their journey?
Like ourselves, we judge how other people should and shouldn’t be.
Like accepting the moment, we release an energetic connection each time we accept others.
It doesn’t mean we love it. If it’s someone close, like children, it doesn’t mean we don’t offer the best we can for their growth. We just don’t take on their responsibility.
Accepting children, makes me think of the first few lines of Khalil Gibran’s, On Children.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Once you accept where a person is, you can see them as they are. That’s what we all want, don’t we? People who are nonjudgmental, giving us the space to learn and grow on our own.
Once you release the energy you’re attaching to someone, it gives you both space to grow.
There’s wisdom in knowing we don’t have to change someone.
Once we accept, we again glean perfection.
Try affirming,
"I accept where other people are at on their journey."
If you want more inner freedom, take some time to reflect on the resistance you're creating by not accepting your situation or other people.
As always, let me know how this landed for you.