When you get triggered
Many get into meditation to find relief from their problems and access a greater sense of well-being. So it’s natural to think that the purpose of Spiritual Growth is so we don’t feel the pain of being human.
After my first meditative opening, I thought I had found the secret that would shield me from hardship. I was in the honeymoon phase of spiritual awakening, and I naively imagined I would live blissfully ever after!
In my ignorance, I thought spirituality was about being in the light and turning away from darkness. As I mature, I’m learning the opposite to be true. While divine realizations are amazing, most growth happens not on the meditation cushion but in our petty frustrations, over-reactions, and daily emotional chaos.
Our practice lies not in avoiding the people and places that trigger us—rather in welcoming and learning from them.
A concept I’d like you to hold is:
Every trigger offers treasure.
When we are easily disturbed, offended, or emotionally charged, we have the opportunity to better understand ourselves.
As we lean into our over-reactions, we can separate ourselves from the experience and get curious…Why is this bothering me? What is at the root of this?
In doing so, we may recognize that we’re over-reactive because of something that happened when we were 13. One moment in our past creates imprints that show up to this day.
Our triggers offer doorways into our shadows. We despise someone because we haven’t accepted the part of us that is like them. In doing the work to look at our triggers and integrate our shadows, we become more whole human beings.
While you may see me as having reached a certain level of spiritual maturity, you’d be surprised how much petty annoyances cause me to act in ways I’d be ashamed of if my “followers” were a fly on the wall.
I’m doing this work just like you. That is why I know how important it is to look at our childhood patterns and shadows, and do the inner-work to release past wounds and clear out blockages.
As we do our work through difficulty, we then open ourselves up to experience more aliveness, purpose, and freedom.
What you want is on the other side of where it feels hard to go.
Easy to say, but when triggered, how do we make the shift?
A mantra that's helped me pause and work through the emotion is:
"It's coming up because it wants to come out."
Like a seed breaking through the earth so it can flower, the emotion is surfacing because it wants our attention. It's coming up now because the body knows the most fertile time. Whether the emotion flowers into something beautiful or dies to surface another day is up to us.
When an emotion comes up, we can:
Shut it down or suppress it (Any addiction helps)
Act it out (Blow up on someone, hurt ourselves in someway)
Work through it (Feel it, get curious)
As Gabor Mate describes in When The Body Says No, there's a difference between acting out an emotion and working through it. Lashing out is like stomping on the sprouted seed, while working through it is like giving the water and sunlight it needs to grow.
We must be aware when we're letting the emotion out in a way that causes harm. It might help the emotion discharge, but if it doesn't transform, it will come back.
Think about something you're facing, and repeat, "It's coming up because it wants to come out."
Without being overcome, how can you let it out?
How can you learn from it?